I hate this

The night that my dad died, when all 9 of us hit the Hospital Parking lot, 7 lit up Cigarettes. I spun around and asked them if they were not all just in the same room as I and watched my father take his last breath? he died from COPD with Emphysema brought on by years of smoking!! It angered me that they all chose to smoke. Although when I left the hospital I went straight to McDonalds and I ate a Filet O Fish with Large Fries and a Diet Coke. Then stopped for candy on my way back to dads house where my family was gathered. It would be 26 more months before I would realize, and make the decision, that my lifestyle was killing me and it needed to change. I have lost 3 cousins in the last 18 months from complications brought on by Alcohol Addiction. 2 of them bled to death from Ulcers. That is a horrible way to die!! These were young men that had so much life left. Their lifestyle got the best of them. I have lost 2 women in my family both 62 years young. Karen died 1/2/12 and Georgie died today. They both died from a massive Heart Attack, here one minute gone the next. Both of them had interacted with me on Facebook the day they died. Neither woman was overweight, however both were smokers. I think that my Aunt Georgie had quit. Karen did not know that she had heart problems to the families knowledge. I am pretty sure neither did Georgie,
It breaks my heart that these members of my family died. I hate that I will not see them on my Facebook page anymore or will I be able to visit them. I am sad for their children and grandchildren.
I encourage all of you to go an get a physical. Talk with your PC Dr and have all the Blood work and  an EKG. It might save your life! Take a look at your lifestyle. Walk more and eat less!! Cut back on the junk. Eliminate soda even diet!!! Do not put it off!!
Heart disease is the #1 cause of death in men and women yet it is the MOST avoidable!! 85% of ALL heart disease can be avoided with early detection, diet, exercise, and possibly medication!!!
Do not wait!! My Aunt was playing on Facebook and was gone an hour later!! My cousin cooked her family dinner and was visiting with her son and daughter in law and was gone an hour and a half later!! The owner of the salon I work in his Brother is 42 and last Thanksgiving had to have triple by pass surgery. Thankfully he lived through his heart attack. It does not care how old you are!! It will strike you! I was told that I had a heart attack, Praise God I did not!! However if I had not changed my lifestyle and lost weight that might have changed!!!

I am begging ALL of you please just go get checked. You may feel fine, it is a Silent Killer!!!

What a weekend!!

I completely stepped outside my comfort zone this past weekend!! I participated in the Mrs Oklahoma International Pageant. I had so much fun! However secretly I was struggling!! Mentally I was a mess!!!
During the what was the most exciting time in my life in a very long time, my lack of self confidence was screaming at me!!! I have a great group of supporters and that is so awesome!! I know that I am Loved!!
Leading up to Pageant I was nervous, worried that my opening dress would not fit,, worried that I would not lose enough to get into my evening gown, and worst of all what if I was laughed off the stage!!! The day that my fitness wear came in I put it on ran into show Dennis and swore there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to parade on stage in that thing!! Can you say Vera Di Milo aka Jim Carey circa In Living Color?? Not pretty!!! In spite of myself I pushed onward! Even though the seamstress ruined my dress I went forward!!
When I arrived at the pageant orientation, I was late. I was frazzled. When the opening number dresses were handed out my fear was confirmed TOO SMALL!!! I was not going to go out on that stage in front of possibly hundreds of people looking like the Purple Michelin Man. With the help of the Asst Director and some sewing skills I pushed forward!!! With the Fitness Wear and some help from spanx I pushed forward!!
I did this pageant just being myself! I didn't use the makeup artist or an interview coach. My second dress was bought off the clearance rack for $45. The judges got all of me!! Everyone was so nice to me and so supportive!!
However during rehearsal my insecurity got the best of me.  I really wanted to run!! I almost walked out 100x's!! I really had to talk myself into staying!! I did the same thing at my first 5K!!I just kept telly myself that I was not there to win, I had already won! I was not there to prove anything to anyone but me!! I had come too far to turn back!! I blew my onstage question, or did I?! People take away what they want. They hear what is important. Maybe to the judges I did not do well enough for a good score. I let my guard down and wore the altered dress, BTW every girl complained about the dress!!! I looked okay in the Fitness Wear (thank you spanx) and received a lot of compliments in my gown!! On the way out to our car people from the audience were approaching me praising me! Telling me how great I did. It was awesome!! I really started to feel 10 feet tall!!
If I would have allowed all the obstacles to stop me I would have let myself down! I am so happy that I did not RUN!!! Now I am ready for what is next!! So...WHAT'S NEXT???
Everything you want is on the other side of FEAR!!!!