OK so i caved...haha

Well I said that I wasn't ready to buy new clothes. But since I was running out of thing that fit, I caved!! Monday I went shopping for just a few items. I thought I would just add a couple of articles to my closet. So I have been wearing things that I had hung on to over the years and some stretchy yoga pants. I had an idea of what size I needed. I was at Lane Bryant, I cannot wait until I do not have to shop at the "Specialty" store, the clerk was hounding me. I so hate that! Really, if I need you I will come get you. Don't stalk me while I shop. Any hoodles. I was looking at crop pants. I like longer capri's cuffed and not tight legs. While I was talking with the clerk the Size question came into play and I said what size I felt I was, the look on her face was that of disbelief. My insecurity kicked in and I thought she was thinking "Girl you are bigger than that!" SO I start making excuses for my baggy sweats and so on!! She asks to start a dressing room for me and I decline, cause as much as I dislike pushy sales people I dislike dressing room full length mirrors!! I shop around for a few minutes find my spoils and head to the counter. I even opted for a denim skirt with leggings. After the "Look" I got from the clerk I was second guessing my size choice the rest of the day! I need to have more self confidence. Later that evening when I was dressing for bed, I decided to try on my skirt. Afraid that it was going to be tight and I would look really bad. I decided to face my fear, to my surprise it was too big! When Den came in the room I asked him what he thought and he said that if I wanted to wear it longer I may want to exchange it. I decided to keep it, it might shrink. When I wore it to work yesterday I had to roll the waist down one time and I did wear the legging's under it and it was cute. Today I wore a pair of Crop Pants, same size, also big. I don't have to undo them to take them off. I probably wont wear them long but I am so excited that I was wrong!! I really do need to build the self esteem and stop seeing myself as the old me. She did not believe that I was that size because I was smaller. That is a good feeling! Just another accomplishment along my journey. I still have many more sizes and pounds to lose. I have mindsets to overcome.
I live in real world where sometimes life sucks! I still have to work on my coping skills. I had an opportunity recently to blow it bad!! I was feeling sorry for myself and I was feeling like I just wanted to stuff my feelings and resort to old behavior. I didn't give in. I dealt with my issues and I moved forward. We are having very bad weather right now. Like very scary weather. I have only made it to the gym once this week. I can't run outside because I don't like running in the rain. I am going to the gym tomorrow. I have another 5K in 2 weeks just 2 days after my 43rd Birthday!! I am happy with my accomplishments so far, but I am not finished, no where near!!
Thank you and Keep moving, be it up, out, forward ect just keep it going!!!