I hate this

The night that my dad died, when all 9 of us hit the Hospital Parking lot, 7 lit up Cigarettes. I spun around and asked them if they were not all just in the same room as I and watched my father take his last breath? he died from COPD with Emphysema brought on by years of smoking!! It angered me that they all chose to smoke. Although when I left the hospital I went straight to McDonalds and I ate a Filet O Fish with Large Fries and a Diet Coke. Then stopped for candy on my way back to dads house where my family was gathered. It would be 26 more months before I would realize, and make the decision, that my lifestyle was killing me and it needed to change. I have lost 3 cousins in the last 18 months from complications brought on by Alcohol Addiction. 2 of them bled to death from Ulcers. That is a horrible way to die!! These were young men that had so much life left. Their lifestyle got the best of them. I have lost 2 women in my family both 62 years young. Karen died 1/2/12 and Georgie died today. They both died from a massive Heart Attack, here one minute gone the next. Both of them had interacted with me on Facebook the day they died. Neither woman was overweight, however both were smokers. I think that my Aunt Georgie had quit. Karen did not know that she had heart problems to the families knowledge. I am pretty sure neither did Georgie,
It breaks my heart that these members of my family died. I hate that I will not see them on my Facebook page anymore or will I be able to visit them. I am sad for their children and grandchildren.
I encourage all of you to go an get a physical. Talk with your PC Dr and have all the Blood work and  an EKG. It might save your life! Take a look at your lifestyle. Walk more and eat less!! Cut back on the junk. Eliminate soda even diet!!! Do not put it off!!
Heart disease is the #1 cause of death in men and women yet it is the MOST avoidable!! 85% of ALL heart disease can be avoided with early detection, diet, exercise, and possibly medication!!!
Do not wait!! My Aunt was playing on Facebook and was gone an hour later!! My cousin cooked her family dinner and was visiting with her son and daughter in law and was gone an hour and a half later!! The owner of the salon I work in his Brother is 42 and last Thanksgiving had to have triple by pass surgery. Thankfully he lived through his heart attack. It does not care how old you are!! It will strike you! I was told that I had a heart attack, Praise God I did not!! However if I had not changed my lifestyle and lost weight that might have changed!!!

I am begging ALL of you please just go get checked. You may feel fine, it is a Silent Killer!!!

What a weekend!!

I completely stepped outside my comfort zone this past weekend!! I participated in the Mrs Oklahoma International Pageant. I had so much fun! However secretly I was struggling!! Mentally I was a mess!!!
During the what was the most exciting time in my life in a very long time, my lack of self confidence was screaming at me!!! I have a great group of supporters and that is so awesome!! I know that I am Loved!!
Leading up to Pageant I was nervous, worried that my opening dress would not fit,, worried that I would not lose enough to get into my evening gown, and worst of all what if I was laughed off the stage!!! The day that my fitness wear came in I put it on ran into show Dennis and swore there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to parade on stage in that thing!! Can you say Vera Di Milo aka Jim Carey circa In Living Color?? Not pretty!!! In spite of myself I pushed onward! Even though the seamstress ruined my dress I went forward!!
When I arrived at the pageant orientation, I was late. I was frazzled. When the opening number dresses were handed out my fear was confirmed TOO SMALL!!! I was not going to go out on that stage in front of possibly hundreds of people looking like the Purple Michelin Man. With the help of the Asst Director and some sewing skills I pushed forward!!! With the Fitness Wear and some help from spanx I pushed forward!!
I did this pageant just being myself! I didn't use the makeup artist or an interview coach. My second dress was bought off the clearance rack for $45. The judges got all of me!! Everyone was so nice to me and so supportive!!
However during rehearsal my insecurity got the best of me.  I really wanted to run!! I almost walked out 100x's!! I really had to talk myself into staying!! I did the same thing at my first 5K!!I just kept telly myself that I was not there to win, I had already won! I was not there to prove anything to anyone but me!! I had come too far to turn back!! I blew my onstage question, or did I?! People take away what they want. They hear what is important. Maybe to the judges I did not do well enough for a good score. I let my guard down and wore the altered dress, BTW every girl complained about the dress!!! I looked okay in the Fitness Wear (thank you spanx) and received a lot of compliments in my gown!! On the way out to our car people from the audience were approaching me praising me! Telling me how great I did. It was awesome!! I really started to feel 10 feet tall!!
If I would have allowed all the obstacles to stop me I would have let myself down! I am so happy that I did not RUN!!! Now I am ready for what is next!! So...WHAT'S NEXT???
Everything you want is on the other side of FEAR!!!!

Some pics

April 2009

 Dennis and I in the same shirt that I used to fill out all by myself!!

 Dennis and I Christmas 2010

 2012 Mrs Sequoyah County Pageant photos

April 2009 That is the face of a very sad woman

I made it over the hump

Well when I stepped on the scale this frigid cold Sunday morning, I didn't see fireworks or receive a shower of ticker tape. There were no loud cheers or way to go's being yelled from a crowd. However there was a very enthusiastic "YES" blurted from myself as I read the numbers and saw that I was down 101 pounds!! Proud of myself? Yeah!! Just a little :) This reward is what makes the early morning workouts worth it! It also keeps me motivated to choose a healthy lunch instead of the quick fast food.
It is also the result of HARD work not a quick fix! I am still asked "How did you lose the weight?" My standard answer "Eating right and EXERCISE!!" Count calories! Less in burn more! Make better choices to get the best benefit for your low calories!
I have had several people talk to me about Gastric Bypass lately. On February 16 it will be 13 years since I had my surgery. I am 4 pounds away from the weight that I got down to after surgery. That was 141 pound weight loss then, I had gained 105 pounds back over 11 years. This weight gain was the result of a Morbidly Obese person who was addicted to food, who had emotional issues with food, who was a compulsive over eater that went into an operation to alter her anatomy looking for that quick fix. However came out the Hospital with the same brain and bad habits accompanied with a stomach the size of a thumb. But I, like many millions of people, was looking for that quick weight loss. The kind where I did not have to put out any effort. Also I didn't want to change! I wanted to eat the foods that I was addicted to. The sugar and carbs that were making me fat and miserable were now making me just plain MISERABLE!! My new Thumb size stomach could not handle breads and carbonated drinks. Did that stop me? NOOOO!! Like any good addict, I manipulated my body and found a way! I vomited, I suffered, I even grazed until it didn't hurt anymore! When I gained back the weight, I blamed my Doctor. He must have done something wrong! I needed it redone. I tried to have it redone, 3 times! I spoke with 4 Doctors! I had 2 Upper GI's. I was told that my stomach was small like the size of my fist, but I did manage to stretch the intestine that the stomach drains to causing my stomach to allow my food to fly through me. I even tried to have that tightened up. All because I did not want to put out any effort to change. WHY? FEAR!!!! DENIAL!!!! I hear it everyday! People are having surgery, now there is quite a process prior to the procedure. They are not changing their eating habits! Some think that since they pay attention to portion size they are okay to eat ice cream, and junk daily!!! There needs to be more counseling prior to surgery.  The nutrition classes are good but one must want to change, most do not!! Hence the desire for surgery! Change is hard and detoxing does not feel good! Detoxing is a must! One must get off of refined sugar and bad carbs!  Just like any other addiction you have to WANT to CHANGE!!!! If not you WILL end up right back where you started!
I am no one special. I have not discovered some new gimmick. I just got tired of being unhealthy and FAT and knew I needed to CHANGE!! I hope that somehow I can help someone realize that they also posses the ability to change and  get healthy!
I am still human and I still battle everyday! Some days its a catfight but there are days when it is a WAR, a Bloody take no prisoners all out BATTLE!!!
A journey of 10,000 steps still starts with 1 step! Take it 1 step at a time and you will get there, you will fall! You will not FAIL!!

Wrapping up loose ends!!

In just 4 short weeks the Pageant will be behind me. To say that I am not nervous would be the EXACT opposite of what I am feeling! I am as nervous as I can be! So much so that I find myself slipping into old habits! When I am nervous or scared I, like many, want to eat! I find myself wanting to slip into the kitchen and munch. I did not have a great night last night. I had made a healthy dinner, then I wanted something sweet. Well I didn't take out a small village but I did eat some Little Debbie donuts. However today I will redeem myself. In just a bit I am going to the gym for a full workout! I also will be doing a total of 12 body wraps before the event. Hopefully all my efforts will work. I fear that maybe this would have been a better choice after I reach my goal. It is what it is. Next time I will be more relaxed.
In April there is a Memorial Marathon for the OKC Bombing. I have been thinking about doing the Half. I am concerned but again it is fear of the unknown. I am running/walking everyday, but that is a bit different than doing 13.1 miles. My goal would be to finish in 3.5 hours. That is doable. On March 10 FSJL will be hosting a 5K. This is the anniversary of my 1st 5K. Dennis has agreed to do it with me!! That is so awesome!! I am so happy that he will joining me.
I surprise myself! I am so happy that my life has changed. Who would have thought that moving 1600 miles from everything I knew would be what it would take to lose all the weight. My new life in Arkansas has come full circle. New beginnings have taken on new meaning.

Mrs Sequoyah County 2011

As 2011 draws to a close, I am reflecting back on the years events. So many milestones, hurdles and FIRSTS!!! In January I started excising. In typical "Go big or GO HOME" fashion, as that is how I roll, I signed up for a 5k right off that bat! BIG FIRST for me! I trained hard. When everyone thought I'd give up, I pressed on and I persevered. I finished!! I went on to complete a total of 5 5K's in 2011. I saw many sizes come and go! I have almost hit 100 pounds. That is my last goal of the year. I really hope to hit it! I feel better than ever. I am so happy right now and still going! I love it when I hear how I have inspired someone to exercise or continue losing weight. I LOVE when someone asks me " What diet are you on" my answer "Good old fashion eating right and exercise" something that we all have forgotten how to do.
I have to say that the biggest FIRST I have accomplished is proving to myself that "Yes I CAN"!!! I had often thought that this goal was so unattainable so out of reach. So many times I have told people that "A journey of 1000 steps still starts with just 1 step" but I couldn't believe that for myself. Now I do and I know that I can!!
I am so passionate about weight loss and living a healthy lifestyle now. I really can't imagine being any other way. I guess at 43 it's about time! When I was 37 I dreaded turning 40, I mean like crying, kicking , and screaming!! Now I am not even bothered by my age. I mean I don't like looking older but I am all about Botox and fillers!!!! But seriously age is not really bothering me at all anymore!
Like I aforementioned, in November I was Crowned Mrs Sequoyah County and I will be in the Mrs Oklahoma Pageant on March 4. This is way outside the box for me. My sister will most likely tell you that I have always been more of the Beauty Queen type and my husband will say that I am a Princess. my clients call me the Glitter Queen!! I like to think of myself as more of a ROCKSTAR!!! However a Pageant Queen is really a different animal for me. I am excited. It's something new. It is a MOTIVATOR!! A reason to stay focused and push myself beyond the limits again! I don't brag on Dennis very often. I realized that it is easy to complain. When he frustrates me, I can easily complain about it. However I think that it is important to turn that around!! I can be having an UGLY Hair day, no make up, frumpy clothes and feeling down and he will smile at me and tell me I am beautiful and I feel like a super model!! Now he also reminds me daily that I am one lucky woman as he is so "Good Looking" LOL!!! He is so modest!! During the Evening Gown portion of the Pageant, Dennis will dress up in a Tux and escort me onto the stage. What a lucky woman am I!!! During a moment when I will no doubt, be the most nervous I have ever been, have my rock planted firmly right at my side uplifting me with nothing more than his presence. And in a TUX no less!! At that moment I know that I will have come FULL CIRCLE!! The other contestants in this Pageant are much younger than me. I was thinking that I must be crazy for doing this. I was ready to drop out. Then I thought naw, I'm in!! I represent every pound shed, everyone that I have inspired, and every woman that thinks she cannot do this I am here to show you that YES YOU CAN!!! I may not have children and the life that the other contestants have, but I have so much to be thankful for and I have accomplished many things in this 2011. And with all that I will proudly sport my Crown!!!! 

No turning back

When I started this journey I was highly motivated and ready to take on the weight loss world. I have had my ups and downs over the past year. I have pushed my body and made some awesome discoveries. I have had some "Ah Ha" and "Priceless" moments.
In all of the success I have had in this year, I have had a dark cloud following close behind me. There is the dreaded statistic that the cards are not in my favor for keeping the weight off. I read the other night that 95% of people who lose weight gain it all back plus more. I have fallen into this category more times than I care to remember. One of my inspirations has been Ben Davis of Little Rock Ar. I did not know he was from Arkansas when I was sent his Youtube video. Ben was a 365 pound 23 year old who had spent his young life yo yo dieting. On Christmas 2009 he made his grandma a promise that he would lose the weight and he would keep it off. The next day he started running. It is very hard to run at that weight. Someone on caloriecount.com sent me his link when I was feeling discouraged and it helped me to push forward. Ben lost the weight and is inspiring people all over the world. He is on the cover of this months issue of Runners World magazine. I have vowed that I am a changed woman. I am in the process of getting a trainer. I hope that we can start this week. I will not fail, I will not do this again!!!!
I know that I have started countess diets and had the same fervor only to fizzle out by dinner. Not this time! No way! I have exposed too much of myself. I have learned to much and I am responsible for that knowledge now.
www.bendoeslife.com
This is Ben's blog. Check out his story. No matter if weight is your issue, his story is inspiring!

Keep moving forward, never look back!!! 

I am on my way...

On December 2 it will be a year since I began this journey. Lots of changes have been made and new challenges are before me. I have accomplished things that I did not know I was capable of. Someone told me that it is easier to start a new habit than to break an old one. I have been successful at both breaking old habits and starting new ones. I stated that I had resorted to Gastric Bypass 12 years ago. At that time I lost 140 pounds and still had 40 pounds to go. Failing to change my lifestyle and my eating habits, I gained most of that weight back. Today I am 10 pounds from the lowest weight I was after surgery, this time I am going all the way and never going back!
I did win the title of Mrs Sequoyah County and I will compete for Mrs Oklahoma in the Pageant on March 2-4.
I don't expect to win or place. When I step out on that stage I have already won! Knowing, on that night where I am, not in the literal sense. Just knowing where I started and how far I have traveled on this journey to get to this point. That will be the crown jewel. All candidates have to have a platform that they speak on during their reign. I have chosen Childhood Obesity. I am so saddened when I see parents starting their children on the path to destruction. Recently Den and I were grocery shopping. We observed a young mom trying to pay for her groceries and deal with her very busy 3 year old son. You could see that she was over her head with this lively toddler but he obviously had all the control. He was about 8 pounds overweight for his young frame. In time that will easily turn into 100 pounds. When her transaction was complete she handed the small child a King Size Candy Snickers and a 20oz Mountain Dew. Very sad! My mom was great at making sure we ate right. Soda and candy was minimal in our life. We ate Fast food almost never! I gained weight after I left home. Genetics play a role in our bodies make up. Unfortunately on both my maternal and paternal sides, weight is an issue. Even with this Genetic hurdle, you can overcome!
I have learned so much about our Metabolism and eating right along this journey. It all just comes down to burn more than you take in! Simple! No fad diet! No crazy diet cuts! However you do have to change your lifestyle. Cut out most of your sugar intake!!! You will OVERCOME!!!!

Wow how my life has changed...

This Thanksgiving I will be participating in my 5th 5K this year. That is far different from the way I have started past Thanksgiving's. I have been the cook, working my way toward gaining those 10+ holiday pounds. Not now!! I am starting new traditions, new achievements. I am working my way toward Happy!!
I have also decided to really live outside the box, I have done something that is so far out of  character for me. I have entered a Pageant. I am competing for Mrs Sequoyah County, then I will be in the Mrs Oklahoma Pageant. The Pageant is in March. I should be at my goal weight or close too it. I am going to start working with a trainer. Thankfully, I do not have to wear a swim suit, just a Workout Outfit that is fitted and a couple of Dresses plus an Evening Gown. That is the part that I am looking forward to :) Den and I did not have a wedding, we did have a nice reception but I didn't wear a Gown. I didn't go to a prom, so I want to dress up. He has to wear a tux and escort me out on stage. Very nice. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
I was whistled at last night in the Walmart parking lot. Granted it isn't ideal and kinda creepy but it made me giggle.

Call me crazy but $200 for a pair of jeans is CHEAP when it makes me...

Feel like a MILLION BUCKS!!! Now before you shriek and think me shallow, read on. I was wearing plus size clothes in my 20's before there were cute plus size clothes. Most of the time I could be seen in black leggings, not a flattering look for a LARGE woman, with a long shirt. Jeans were out of the question. As I stated before my weight got out of control. On more than one occasion I was in a size 26/28 bottom and 30/32 top. There is nothing worse than the horror of knowing that you are in the largest size in the Plus Size store. I mean where are you going from here?! When stores like Old Navy came along and tried to introduce a Junior Plus line I would be thrilled to lose enough weight to wear those clothes. However it was usually short lived and they didn't fit well.
There was a store, Clothestime, that had been my store when I was of  "Normal" size in High School. It was Christmas and I was out shopping alone. Anyone who has ever been morbidly obese knows that shopping alone is no fun. There is no one to help distract the stares and looks of detest on the faces of those who would rather see you locked away than out among them. That's a whole other topic. Anyway, I went into Clothestime to buy a sweater for my sister who was at best a size 6 at that time. I looked around the store and could not find the specific sweater that I wanted. I approached the counter and politely said "Excuse me" to the very thin teen who was working customer service, when she turned to answer me her young face held no concern or care of my needs, she gave me the snarled lip and the up and down once over when then her young and very ill mannered rearing manifested into "UM WE DON'T CARRY YOUR SIZE HERE!"
I felt as if I had been hit with brick in the face. Like I didn't know that! Thank you for pointing that out to me and everyone else. The humiliation of it all left me heartbroken and embarrassed. How could she be so rude? I do have feelings. That is just one of many encounters.
Throughout the years I have had some moments of "YES" I did it, only to fail and go back up the scale. I have watched trends and stores come and go only to know that I can't wear them however wishing that I could.
When I started my journey, I had the ultimate goal. That was to wear a pair of Miss Me jeans by this Christmas. I love those jeans and the bling!! I went shopping Monday and I bought my second pair of Silver Brand jeans in a smaller size! YAY!! All this new sizing by waist or so I thought was the waist size is very confusing to me. I havent shopped like this so I have no clue what my size is when it comes to a 32 or so on. I know what that means in a Plus Size but not at a Normal Store.
Today I go into Buckle, I am looking at the Miss Me jeans when I see that they have 33, 34, & 36. The sales girl helps me and tells me that the 36's will be too big but insist she is crazy and that she should bring them anyway. I am in a fitting room, which I fear them again another topic, with 5-6 pairs of Miss Me's and Rock Revival's. I try on the 33's a lil tight, then the 36's and I could swin around in them. The 34's were ok but in the Rock Revival's, which I decided I LOVED, the 33's I think were more suited for me. Of course they didn't have them. She returned with a 32 and I thought no I'd like to breathe. The 34's were comfortable yet not to snug and they will shrink. I was so excited to know that I wasn't wearing the biggest size in the store, I could have went into a smaller size and I was in The BUCKLE!!!!! I bought them and they were $194.53 PRICELESS!!!!

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life....Well not really, just a new chapter

I have been on a plateau for the last month. I have been teetering on a few pounds. Its driving me crazy!! So tomorrow Dennis is leaving for California 3 weeks. While he is gone I plan on stepping up my game a bit! I am going to get back to the Reshape The Nation plan 100%. I have been eating right just not enough. My body is freaking out a bit! I have been going to the gym 3 times a week, now I am getting back to going 5. I am wearing a size 16 and by Thanksgiving I want to wear a 14.
December 2 marks 1 year I have on this journey, I hope that by next summer I will meet my goal. It seems so surreal. I don't feel like that "old" me. In my mind I do, but I can't relate to the "Fat" Lynne. I get up and early and go to the gym, I make better choices eating out, and I can see now that a healthier me is possible. The saying that "Nothing tastes as good as losing weight feels" is true to a point! I love when my jeans that were tight are now big, I love when I see someone and they say that I look great and they want to know how I did it, but I also love French Fries. Sometimes I just can't say no. Not often, but once in awhile I give in.

A picture is worth a thousand words...wow mine said a mouth full!!!!

Earlier today Dennis and I were repacking some boxes that were going into storage. I love going through old pictures of my dad and all the kids. Makes me feel old though lol. In all the pictures there were some of our wedding reception, Christmas past. and various holidays. I couldn't believe the transformation. It was bittersweet. I didn't think that I had that many pictures of me over the last 7-8 years turns out I was wrong! I found some that I had forgot. WOW!! There are those days that you put on make up, do your hair, find just the right outfit and you look at yourself, even 100 pounds overweight, you still think "DAMN I am having a good looking day!!" I totally remember feeling that on this particular day. Well pictures do not lie! I was lying to myself. I even asked Den if I was smaller than certain times these pictures were taken. I just don't want to have that denial any more. When I had a Gastric Bypass, I lost 140 pounds but I still only made it to a size 14. Well I am  20 pounds from the lowest weight I was at that time. I feel better than I did then. I didn't exercise then nor did I eat right. I am doing all  the right things now.
Next Monday, Halloween, Den is going to California for 3 weeks. I am going to be hitting it harder while he is gone! I have 14 pounds to make the 100 pound milestone, then I want to lose 7 more to be less than he has ever seen me. Hopefully that will get me to my next goal of wearing a size 14 Miss Me jeans on Thanksgiving!! That will be the smallest that I have been in 12 years. I am so happy!!
Looking at these pictures has just reinforced that I am doing the right thing. It is awesome to wear smaller jeans and feel sexy in tighter clothes, but the reality is that I am doing this for my health. I am 43 years old I want to live a long happy life without disease. I want to be able to run well into my 70's. I did this for the whole package! Even though I did this for the right reason's, I don't want to be the girl in those pictures ever again! When I get in my size 14 jeans,  I will post both pics.
Keep moving and eating right!!! Take pictures... you might see something that you need to see, however you may just see the beauty that is in the eye of the beholder!

Oh the weather outside is FRIGHTFUL ....

Here in the mid east we are having a cold front. Our weather went from 90+degrees Monday to 29 low the last two nights. Then warming up today to a nice 67 today then 81 Monday. I'm not liking this winter like weather. It makes it hard to get out of my warm bed and hit the gym. However Fall is my favorite time of the year. I love all beautiful colors, the smell of the air, and the food! Fall means Pumpkin and Apple season, YUM!! I have heard that there is a Apple Orchard here that sells them by the bushel. I am going to check them out on Monday. It's time for homemade apple butter and apple sauce, but with a healthy twist. I am also going to make Gluten free Pumpkin Bread for Dennis using Raw Sugar, stay tuned I will share.
October has always been my favorite Month for many reasons. The weather changes brings in the Fall colors, it used to mean the time changed. I actually love when it gets dark at 5pm weird I know. It is the kick off to the Holiday season beginning with Halloween. For some Halloween is not a real holiday but in my world it ranks up there with Christmas. Halloween was my dads birthday. It was always a celebration. I love dressing up, decorating my house, handing out candy to the little and not so little kids, I LOVE haunted houses and hay rides. In the 2 weeks leading up to Halloween I want to take it all in!! I lost my dad 3 years ago on October 18. It has been a little rough getting back in the swing of it, we also moved from California to Arkansas 2 years ago. This is the first time in 3 years that I feel in the spirit, if you will, of Halloween. I know that my dad would want me to continue to celebrate just like old times, and do so in his honor.
Going into this Holiday Season I am going try different things. Baking will be some of the traditional items with modifications, others will be new introductions. I love homemade Soups and Stews. Monday I made Great Northern Beans with Smoked Ham and Oven Roasted Potatoes. It was delish!! Very easy.
**In a large pot heat 3 tablespoons coconut oil saute 1 yellow onion chopped and 2 cloves of garlic minced
1 tspn pepper add cubed lean smoked ham heat through, add small bag of dried great northern beans and Knorr Beef Stock (the new gel like ones that come in a 4 pack forgot what they are called) just cover with water and stir. In a covered pot bring to a hard boil for 20 minutes, reduce to a medium boil keep covered and stir occasionally add water if needed. Takes about 2 hours
Boil small potatoes whole until fork tender, drain. heat oven to 425 On a non stick cookie sheet place potato and gently squish with masher until it pops and flattens
Mix olive oil, sea salt, rosemary, pepper then drizzle over the potatoes and bake for 20 minutes
Beans are an excellent source of fiber**
I love food and I love food that tastes good and is comforting on these cold days. I have to eat healthy. I add lots of spices and flavors to my dishes. By adding extra veggies and spices and taking out the fat and bad carbs you wont miss what is not there.
Try something new!! I will share my homemade chicken soup recipe next time, it is yummy!!!

People never cease to amaze me...

So Friday I get a phone call from a woman inquiring about a Detoxifying Pedicure. I obtain some information from her and then explain that what she is looking for would have to be ordered. When I am about to get her number she asks me "How much weight do you think this will help me lose?" I ask "Excuse me, umm I am not sure I understand." she replies "My cousin has been going to Tulsa three times a week and soaking her feet and she has lost a lot of weight." my response "Then you might want to go there. Anything that I can offer will just be purely esthetic. To properly lose weight you need to follow a proper diet and exercise plan." "I walk 45 minutes a day and I only eat 1200 calories a day but I can't lose any more weight." I explain to her that she isn't eating enough and that she is exercising so her metabolic rate is up therefore taking in a balanced diet of protein and good carbs is key to successful weight loss. She was not interested since her Diet Pill Doctor wont let her eat more than 1200 calories. I began to tell her of my own weight loss journey. I explained the importance of nutrition and how her body was no doubt in Survival Mode. I told her how her body was holding on to everything that she was eating and that her body was certain she was trying to kill it. I told her of free apps and web sites that would help get her on the right track. She did not care. She was looking for the quick fix. Seriously if soaking your feet in a detox solution would help you lose weight then I'd be in my pedi chair ALL THE TIME!!!! That would be easier than running your butt off and eating right. I know that we all buy into every diet trend out there. I have many many many times!!! With so much available to us now I had hoped that we would have evolved beyond Foot Soaking Diet Detox.
I have lost 86 pounds and I still have a ways to go. I get asked everyday "How are you doing it" I always say "The old fashion way, Good old Diet and Exercise" Burn more than you eat. Just start with Cardio. You have to eat!! Eat right, and the occasional treat is fine and necessary!!! The response is always the same, "Oh" with the enthusiasm of a learning that you need a cavity filled without Novocain. I have learned so much about food and combining along with nutrition. I am so happy that I started this journey for obvious reasons but also in hopes to help someone begin on the right path. I love it when someone see's me and says WOW you look fabulous!! How'd you do it?! I love sharing what I have learned. There are those out there that go into this journey down different avenues and with their own agendas. I have been a fan of the Biggest Loser from season 1. Even though I'd sit there year after year eating chips and cry with all the contestants. I knew that one day I'd do this. This past May ABC debuted a show called Extreme Makeover wight loss addition with Trainer and Weight Loss expert Chris Powell. He specializes in the super obese. I love Chris!! I, along with millions of other obese people, would have loved to be on either show. Many people have been helped and lives saved through the process. There are always going to be those that are just ungrateful. A contestant from EMWLE has now, after failed attempts to extort money from the show, has come forward to "Blow the whistle" on the show and their extreme unhealthy weight loss measures. Like weighing 600 pounds was healthy. This man could not walk to the end of his block without having to rest. He sat on a love seat since chairs would not hold him. He had to enter his bathroom sideways as he was too wide to enter it normally. He lost 313 pounds in 1 year then he has lost the balance. It was extreme hence the name of the show! He knew what he was getting into. He ended up in the hospital with pneumonia during the show and blames the weight loss. Then he had some cysts on his kidneys during the latter part of his weight loss and blames the weight loss. he claims that at 600 pounds he was healthier.  He demanded that the show pay him $50,000 for medical bills and when they did not he decided that the show is bad and he needed to let people know how deceitful they were. All the while he had a FB page using the show's name and writing a blog with the show's name as well. He, by all obvious purposes, was using the name of the show, the trainer, and  his weight loss success to gain fame and notoriety. When he didn't get it now he using drama to get it. Very sad!!! I know that if I was in a place where I spent hours in the gym and had only good nutritious food available to me then I'd lose easy and fast. I have heard before about the tactics used to lose more before weigh ins and again it's a reality show! They are after the shock factor. I just hope that he keeps the weight off and in his quest he will accept that his actions caused his health problems.
Excess weight is not good by any means!!! Diabetes, heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure,  the list goes on!!
Side note the Toxicology Report came in on the driver of the Car that killed my friend, his BAC Level was double the legal limit. Very sad!!

And now the rest of the STORY....

 http://www.myabc30.com/wap/news/text.jsp?sid=58&nid=2141100573Well I wrote yesterday of my anguish over an old friends death. Today I learned the rest of the story. It did not occur at 5:40pm it was 1:30am and they had been drinking. Even worse. I am just sick over this. I didn't sleep well last night for thinking about this. I have added the link to the news story, please take a moment and watch the 2 minute video. You can't even tell what end of the car it is. My heart hurts. You shouldn't have to worry about losing friends to Drinking and Driving at 42 years old. My friend died over a very poor decision. We make decision's all day everyday they shouldn't take your life. I am sorry for harping on this, but my Grandma died when I was 2 in a car accident where alcohol was involved. Over the years I have lost so many friends this way, it just hurts. I wish I could go home and be with my friends. I really don't have many, I'd like to see them all grow old. Also like I stated last night, next week is the Anniversary of my Dad's death.
God Bless you all, hug your loved ones and let them know that you love them and that you don't want to lose them over a poorly made decision!!!!

Life is too short, much too short... RIP in Sandi

This morning I learned that an old from my home town was killed in car accident last Friday night. I had known her nearly my whole life even though I hadn't seen her in years. Growing up in the same neighborhood, she and my sister were in the same class, my step brother plated football with her brother and her mom was a long time client of mine after I started my nail career. There was a strong connection. Hearing the news was a blow to my heart. I was instantly saddened for her children and her family. I felt sad for the two others that died in the car that she was the passenger in. Ultimately my grief was coupled with anger. I am angry as this accident was senseless. A young driver showing off his new mustang driving too fast over corrects a corner looses control and plows into an Oak Tree and instantly all 3 in the car are dead!! I am sorry but that makes me mad!! My friend leaves behind children and family that were not expecting her to be ripped from their lives. I started this weight loss journey in hopes to save better my health and prolong my health. I have seen with my own eyes watching my Father deteriorate right before me then died and my step mom die 8 weeks after being diagnosed with Lung Cancer all from SMOKING!!! A lifestyle that they enjoyed. I feared that my horrible eating habits would earn me the same fate if I didn't change. I don't want to do all this only to have it for naught. I'd like to think that I make better choices not only in my lifestyle but in my day to day life. How can you control what others are doing? Well you open your mouth! If you are in a car and they are speeding ask them to slow down! If they are recklessly driving then DEMAND that they stop!!! Do not allow for your fate to be in someone's control!! Unfortunately there are situations where you have no choice, when you do have the opportunity by all means speak up!! It was 5:40pm still early and daylight. I'm sorry but I just cannot let this rest. I am sad but also mad! I have learned that life is short and it is precious!!! I want to see my future! There are so many things that I have not seen and people I want to meet. Next week it will be 3 years since I lost my dad, by far the single most difficult experience in my life thus far!!!! 40 years with him was not enough!! I could have spent 40 more!!! I miss him everyday and would give anything for one more day!
I love you all and do not wish to lose any more friends to senseless accidents or self inflicted health issues!!
Be safe!!! Life is SHORT!!! LIVE IT UP!!!!!

Long time no BLOG...

I haven't given up on my journey nor fallen into old habits. I have been working hard at losing weight and building my Nail Business. It has been 10 months and I down 85 pounds. I have 15 pounds to my first big goal then hopefully I will hit my ultimate goal by next summer.
I have made so many changes this summer. In all of my quests for a healthier eating lifestyle, I have read countless articles. I blogged some time back about Dennis and his struggle with digestion. I also added that we added Gluten Digestion Enzymes to his diet. Well that was a bust. Turns out he is allergic and not intolerant. We have both set out to be Gluten free. It is hard as EVERYTHING that tastes good contains Gluten. It is getting better. I have found several things and we are adjusting.
I am attempting also to go Dairy free. I am lactose intolerant but i would still eat cheese and yogurt. Now I am only going to eat Goat cheese and no yogurt. I am eating more fruit and veggies, working on no white potatoes or corn products. The diet will be very strict but I am going to follow the "Eat right 4 your type" I am curious to see how it works for me. I am O neg, so I should eat more of a Hunter Gatherer diet. Mmm Meat!! LOL
I am in between sizes right now.  When I get out of the current size, I will be in the Juniors Dept YAYAY!!!!
I am going to buy a pair of Miss Me jeans and hope they fit by Thanksgiving!!!! I actually love wearing jeans now. This is funny..I bought a cute pair of Silver brand jeans which were a low rise. Well I am still wearing the full brief panty, so when I put on my cute jeans my panties stuck out of jeans about 3 inches. I kinda felt like Markie Mark, just didn't look as hot on the 40 something old lady. Well I was having a hard time breaking out of the "comfort" zone in the panty dept. I am not a thong girl nor do I like the barely there things. I still like spandex and full coverage. So buying a low rise panty with added support was a bit of a challenge, but I did it. I must say it was a nicer look and feel to have my panties below the low waist line of the jeans. If you have ever transitioned from granny panties to regular then you will get it. Sorry for the TMI but I find some of these changes humerus.

 

36 Inches, 3 feet or a Yard...

However you measure it, I have lost IT!!!! My current Stats are 66lbs 7 Sizes 36 inches. When I presented these to Den, he so politely said "WOW that is 3 FEET!!" I said "Don't put it that way" Anyway you look at it, it is what it is!! And I am happy!!! I am now at a weight that I have not been at since I had Gastric bypass Surgery 12 years ago. I have NEVER been this dedicated or this focused. I am proud of myself!! Today is a good day. I am feeling better about myself. My feet are even smaller. I will be going to California in August, I can't wait to see friends and family. I know that everyone will be surprised at the transformation. The more I travel this road the more momentum I gain. I am picking up speed, but we all have off days. I sometimes need a pick me up. Recently I was feeling low and in need of motivation. Our local news shared the Motivating Story of David. An obese man from Charleston Arkansas changing his life and hoping to inspire others. http://www.facebook.com/teamdavidinspires
Take a look at Davids Page and "Like" it. He needs all our support to keep going. I read what he is doing and he keeps me going!! I know that I can do this!
I am almost out of WOMEN'S sizes also!! I went shopping at Dillard's last weekend and went into the Misses Dept and bought Capri's. I can get them up to my rear end just not over. So about 20 pounds and I will be in them!! Hitting the gym in the morning, MOTIVATION!! LOL
My next Goal is Miss Me Skinny Jeans by Halloween with Boots. I hired a Photographer today that is going to put together a Weight Loss Photo Album for me. She is going to do photo's from this point on to track my progress and use my before pictures. It is going to be interesting watching the change. I sometimes cant believe the difference now. Den was helping me fold clothes and he said that he has to look at the pockets to see what jeans are his, since mine are smaller now. It is moments like that... that make me SMILE!!!!
Keep moving and you will shrink too!!!

Some things Cheeto's and Twix cant fix.......

When I started this journey I knew that there would be some healing that would need to be done. Lets face it, we have all heard the quote "It's not what you're eating.. it's what EATING you!!!"  I have had my moments of kicking and screaming. I have had the "cry my eyes out for no reason" well that might be hormonal, LOL. Whatever the case may be I have my moments. Just when I think that I have it all together and I am doing great, I get hit from left field. Today was a biggie!!! I had a new client who was not from here. She had been in Fort Smith for a few years and had lived all over the States. I found her very nice and very informative. I have been feeling a little more comfortable here. I feel less like an outsider and more like I a resident. I am getting around the city better, and I actually run into people out in public now. That is huge for me. Growing up in Clovis, I knew everyone. I have felt very alone here outside of work. The client gave me some sound advise, she said that it would take 3-4 years to get settled in here. She also said that Fort Smith is probably one of the hardest towns to get into the "Circle". People are nice and friendly here but there are some that no matter what when you are new they simply will not let you in. If you did not grow up here then you are always going to be "The Newbie". Most of you know that I faced serious obstacles professionally when I moved here, in spite of that I have become, a local favorite! I work a lot and that doesn't leave me much time for socializing. I hate to admit it but I have not been to Church since I left California. That was such a big part of my life! I have not left God!!! I am still very close to God and my relationship with him is good!! I just have not found a church that I want to be plugged into. Anyway, I have a few people that I simply respect and value greatly! I do not have many friends here but I have made a few. Today out of no where, and she doesn't even know it I am sure, one of them hurt my feelings. I then heard the clients words echo in my head, "You will never break in the circle". I wanna go where everybody knows your name and there oh so glad you came. I want that familiar feeling. Where I can look down at a building and it holds a special memory for me. I want to feel like this is home. I am trying, I want to feel that way. I want people to respect me enough that they wont stomp on my feelings just because I am new and I don't mean anything to them. It is a matter of respect! So I obviously did not take this well!! I really let it bring me down! Just when I think that I have it all under control, I realize that I don't! I had to stop at Walmart on my way home. While in the check out line I was right there next to all the impulse buys. I threw a bag of Cheetoes Puffs and Twix into my cart. I have not had that in awhile!! In the car I ripped open the bag of Puffs and went at it. What a mess! I ate half the Grab Bag size and only 1 bar of the Twix. It is a 20 minute drive from Walmart to my house. About 10 minutes into the drive my binge was over and my belly was sick!! OHH the agony!! I thought I was going to pop from the gas and discomfort. It was horrible. I am not sure if it was the sugar or the fat in the puffs but something did not agree with me!!! I have not hurt that bad in a very long time! My chickens got the remainder of the bag and I threw away the candy bar. I will never do that again! It really isn't worth it! It doesn't fix the issue, I need to get thicker skin. Maybe in California this would never have bothered me, I am in my element there. I need to find that element here. I sometimes feel like I am standing naked in front of the class, Exposed and Vulnerable. I don't like that!!! I guess the healing process is just scratched the surface!! Venting tonight forgive me!!! Had to get it out so I could sleep!
Haven't moved in over a week, doing a 5k Friday NIGHT in this awful heat!!! I am going to collapse!!!
LOL Keep moving and be a friend to someone new in town, they are feeling alone and need new memories.

I hit a milestone today!!

I am the lightest I have been in 5 years! I mentioned before that I had some clothes from the past. I will get back to that! This weekend Den went on a much needed Man Trip with his new 4 Wheel group. I stayed home for some me time! Well I worked, that is my me time. I love my job. I know I need help. Anyway, Friday night I stopped at Fashion Bug on the way home, Shopping is getting better. I saw the cutest skort. I usually don't like skorts but this one was Camo and very do-able! I decided to buy it in a size SMALLER than my last shopping outing. A little nervous, I held it up and thought "There is no way!" I mean this thing looked so small. I hate dressing rooms, so I took it home. After agonizing over it I finally decide to get it over with and try the dumb thing on. As I am holding it up to take one last look before tormenting myself, I opt to leave all the tags on, as I know I will be returning this. There is no way That I can wear this, when it SLIPS on and it ZIPS UP with NO effort!!! I was ECSTATIC!!! I almost danced!! I wore my new outfit Saturday and I got so many compliments and so many people told me that they could really see my progress, well I would hope after 6 DRESS SIZES!!!! YAY!!!
So today I have this very cute pair of BLINGY Jean Crop Capri's that I bought 5 years ago the day after Christmas. I remember very well buying these pants and squeezing into them! I also remember how I would not sit down in them when I had them on in fear I would cut myself in half! I refused to return them, I did not want to admit that I was gaining weight again!! I knew that I had them in a tub in my closet so I thought that if I was able to wear a smaller size then certainly I could wear these Capri's. This morning I get them out, almost expecting them to be to small and they fit actually they are almost to big! I was so happy!! I just can't wrap my mind around my size right now! I still see a person who has not lost anything! My body image is bad!! I can see the scale, I can see the clothes but when I look in the mirror I still see the old me. Pictures shock me. I took a picture Friday night to show my sister how dark my tan was and yes it was darker than I thought but I was also thinner thank I see myself also. I am working on that. I do not want to have a distorted body image. I think that has been one of my issues all these years. I am enjoying the surprises. I am happy with my results.

http://abc.go.com/shows/extreme-makeover-weight-loss-edition

You need to watch this new show. This trainer Chris Powell is awesome!! He believes in Extreme Makeovers alright!! He once helped a man lose 401 pounds in 26 months! It is possible! Change is good! Overcome the addictions and the for the binges.
Burn more than you take in, Keep moving!!!!
Thanks for your support!!!